Keeping Faith

Reflection and vision truly is a gift of and from the Holy spirt. It is crucial for growth and appreation for the Lord, our God.

I wrote this note to myself a while back.
“Be happy with where you have come.
   Be excited for where you will go.
   Be in the center of that.”

I am thankful to be able to look back and see all the circumstances God has brought me through in triumph. To look back and see Him in every moment especially the ones it was difficult to see.

I am blessed to have vision and something to work towards. When walking hand and hand with the Lord and keeping my head up and straight ahead I am able to see the direction in which the Lord is leading me.

The presents of the Lord is with us. Be Present with the Lord. To be able to know where you have been and know where the two of you are headed. The place to be. The present for it is such a wonderful gift.

As I finish reading the book of Leviticus I am thankful.

I am thankful the Lord graciously sent his one and only son, Jesus to be the ultimate sacrifice.

Reading Leviticus has been eye opening to read about all the people had to do to be forgiven and to be in the presents of the Lord. A book of lists the people had to complete to be forgiven and welcomed to be with the Lord.

Thanks to Jesus all we have to do is repent and believe in Him. Once a heart receives the sacrifice the presents of the Lord will dwell with them forever.

The best gift.
Thank you Father God for being merciful when your people have not been over and over again for always keeping your promises.

This is my prayer. Before I share a piece of writing I pray. My prayer is that the words I share go beyond the words written. Go beyond the readers mind as they read and that the words reach hearts and souls. I pray my words will be taken beyond all I can ever do with them and taken by the Holy spirt to do all God intends which is always beyond human comprehension.

I see writing as a gift. Something I love to do and something that can encourage people and share the good news of Christ to anyone and everyone. This is why I boldly allow the words I write to go beyond my journal and to this page praying God then takes it beyond to you.

I gave my blog the name Beyond Words because I am writing about faith, healing, the Healer, the Creator and His creation. All of this is beyond words. I share what God has placed on my heart, the prayer is it rests on your own heart as peace.

My professor gave a writing prompt of “What does writing mean to you?” As I pondered this question my answer became “writing is my souls voice” as a born again Christian my souls voice comes from living the life God intended for me to live from the beginning. My souls voice is joyful praises to the King, sharing what He has done and is doing. All while staying in an ever present wonder of getting to live in the blessing gifted by God.

I hope that these words start conversations and encourage steps towards the Lord.

Beyond Words for you Lord.
Amen

Passion conference 2023 encouraged me to continue to give God my full yes to life with Him. My purpose, thanks to Christine Caine I became more and more real as I lingered in the proximity of God, the purpose is to “Go out and Tell” Jackie Hill Perry encouraged me so well by reminding me of the power of the Holy Spirt that lives within me as I go out and tell. Katherine Wolf shared from heart to heart waking me up to the fact that my suffering is not holding me back but can be the thing that pushes me forward. Johnathan Pokluda reminded me of the importance of sharing the Gospel with everyone and living out the gift of the gospel in my own life. Louie Giglio opened a space of a heart to heart with God, asking us to stand boldly if our answer to God is Yes. Standing ready for everything God has planned, with no questions asked. Tim Tebow’s vulnerability gave me courage to be vulnerable with my thoughts and see what I was most passionate about and that it needs to be Christ first. To always remember the cross and see all God has done in my life and others and continue share the Gospel news! God answered Sadie Huff’s prayer to speak through her. She had us leaving the place encouraged to life faith out in every aspect of life. Passion Music, Elevation Worship, Crowder and Cody Carnes heart and gift of worship made a space to meditate and linger in Gods loving presence. A space to hear His voice, soak up His word and process the call He has placed on my life.

I am so excited to see the ripples that come from passion conference 2023, started in Georgia but does not end in Georgia, for me it is headed to Michigan to continue to spread the good news. And from there others upon others can spread it. The most beautiful butterfly effect of all, spreading Jesus love. I am positive it will spread in ways my eyes will never see, God sees and people are reached.

As this new year comes I do not want to put my goals and visions for myself and life on a pedestal because I do not know what tomorrow will bring let alone a whole year. The only thing I know is, I know who holds tomorrow and He has my best interest in mind, He has proven that to me my dying on the cross and the defeating death for all of us.

I used to put myself under a lot of pressure on this day. Writing all my goals and how the year was going to go. Lately I have been reading James 4 and at the end of the chapter it says

““Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”” James 4:12-15 For years I had been planning my whole year when in reality I don’t even know what tomorrow will be like.

Instead of writing a bunch of goals I will not achieve and be disappointed in myself I wrote prayers, knowing God is who holds tomorrow and who knows what 2022 will look like so He is the one I should turn too.

Some of my prayers were these:

• Lord please take good care of me and all those I love.

• Lord please help me to never feel scared because faith and fear cannot be in the same place.

• That He gives me boldness.

• I never go a day not reminded of his love for me.

• That each time I pick up a pen He guides me in what I shall right.

• Lord please never allow me to forget all you have done and sacrificed for me.

Last year my word was create.

This year my word is rejoice.

Romans 5 talks about life in a sense of what comes from hard suffering “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

I have seen this head on in my life the last couple of years. What God can make out of suffering for “he gives beauty for ashes”

The word rejoice, my word for the year is so I am reminded I can rejoice everyday this year no matter what the circumstance is because Jesus has already over come it and the victory has been won.

I pray none of you put your hope in this new year but in Christ, for He will never put you to shame.

I found this verse a little over a month ago and it really stuck with me and I have been sitting with it ever since. It is as if God and I sat at a coffee shop together and talked. Talked about some really hard things that have happened. Talked about how He helped me, how He carried me. How He never left or forsaken me. How He is bringing triumph. How is is proud. Here is the verse:

We’re by the sunrise shall visit us from on high. To give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death. To guide our feet into the way of peace.” Luke 1:78-79

For me it describes exactly what God has been doing in my life the past couple of years. Years that felt like darkness where any light was covered by the shadow of death. The light overcame the darkness and has guided my feet ever sense on the way to peace I’m not fully there yet but I am on my way Jesus and His light has shed upon me and I have been able to grow.

The darkness that surrounds you and perhaps the shadow of death, look for that sunlight Gods light shining upon you and showing you away.

Words into vision. Me at seventeen writing about my future life. This is not a schedule from a planner but allowing my soul to speak and envision the way it wants to live while it has the chance. What it wants to see, smell, feel, experience. Life is hard, we all know that, I do not know what my future holds, nor do I even know what tomorrow will bring but what’s the harm in envisoning, maybe I will get to have this life and more, good and bad. I want a family and to work for the Lord. I live for God the creator of my soul, until I reach heaven I want to experience all he created. Meet his children. See his art in nature. Experience every emotion that words will never understand. 

Hobbies: My hearts happy place. Where I find peace and rekindle where it all began. Why am I here? Why I love this earth. Where I find joy and restoration. When I am able to be an amateur and laugh about it. I enjoy all things nature because I get to admire God’s handiwork. I love planting flower gardens and vegetable gardens because I get to watch it grow. Anything will grow if it is taken care of and needs are provided. Who said you couldn’t learn from a hobby? I enjoy eating from my vegetable garden because it’s a part of me, I created it from a seed, the cycle begins. I could sit and stare at the tall, vibrant sunflowers I had watched grow all summer long, maybe along with myself or my kids. I look up to sunflowers because they never let anything bring them down.  Water coloring I’m an amateur and I’m okay with that because I get to try and create my vision of what beautiful heaven looks like, this makes me feel close to my loved ones. I love getting lost with the time when watching birds sore and butterflies flutter. I love the mama birds that feel safe to make a home at my home. I cherish this moment of life. To do yoga and be one with my mind and body this is art. This is a balance I carry on through the unbalanced waves of emotion and back to vinyasa. I enjoy taking care of my body, God’s temple for this is my soul’s vessel here on earth. God wonderfully created for me, I want to experience it with long thick hair and thin gray hair. I want to watch my children grow up and come home and be youthful. Going on bike rides brings my inner child out. I love it. To create. To find. To capture. These are my hobbies, my heart’s happy place, I bring along with me to all aspects of life. 

Career: I have a heart for writing. I have for as long as I can remember carried a journal around, wrote about my day, wrote letters to my mom. When she died writing was my therapy, a safe place to let out my thoughts and things I wish I could say, should have said or not have said. My mom was also a writer. She wrote a journal everyday when I was a baby and was going to give it to me when I had kids, I got it sooner than that. I cherish it. She wrote an essay about her life I found after her life. My dream job is to become a published author. Write a story of my life and share it, relate to others and share God’s works. My goal is to help others with their rough patches through life when they read mine. God’s words, my mouth or finger tips. I have a calling to work in the church in some way. Maybe it is to go on mission trips and help as many hearts as I can. My therapist told me I was an empath. She said it can be used as a gift, I believe it is and can be used in my job as I work for the Lord.  Currently as a junior in high school I’m not sure what steps I will need to take.

Family: This I have envisioned for a long time. I want to raise kids, show them the beauty of life and tell them about their amazing grandma they will meet in heaven one day. One of them may be named after her. I have always believed family is not only blood, welcoming any heart that needs a home is something I learned from my mom. I have a heart for animals, I always have. I would love an old horse to take care of, a cow to feed and not to eat, and a dog to take to the beach (white retriever please). I envision big outdoor dinners, plants inside and out, lots of books, what is a room without books? And a bigkitchen that smells like coffee in the mornings and cooked veggies at night. I want it to be welcoming without the need for a welcome mate. A place where people can take their masks off (hopefully this is just a metaphor again). Pictures around that capture the past and bring me back every now and then. 

Travel: Home is anywhere and everywhere you bring your heart and suitcase. I want to travel and explore. I hate being trapped in the same place. I want to see my brothers and sisters and the place my mom took her last breath. I have had a passion for traveling since I was a little kid. I never said no to an adventure, my mom and I went on a girls trip at least once a year. Brazil, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Dominican Republic I cherish the endless memories we made traveling. I want to make more, see more. Visit all of my exchange students in their hometowns and go to all 50 states. I want to go to Ireland with my rain jacket, and see the Wicklow Mountains where P.S I love you was filmed. “Life is short, the world is wide, I wanna make some memories.” -Mama Mia (favorite movie of all time)! 

Now I stay open minded, welcoming all experiences, say yes to any adventure and cherish today and hope there’s a tomorrow. With everything, before,between and after, I pray.

One year left of high school and the question begins “What are you plans for the future?”

Such an overwhelming question I never seem to have the right answer too.

After this now one is telling you what to do. It’s up too you. Fun and existing but also confusing and cold.

God knows what’s through these next doors to the future, my trust is in him. My future is in his hands.

I keep the words of C.S Lewis in my heart as my search begins: “Heaven is already inside you.”

The most extraordinary things happen in the unplanned time of now. Like a sunflower that grew accidentally in the lavender.

Something I’ve come to learn over this week is while here on earth your “To-do list” will never be blank. There will always be something you need to do, fix or buy. What I’ve come to find out is that life is not about completing a “To-do list” but about the beautiful moments in between.

God has gifted us enough time to complete the mission he has set before us. “There is a time for everything under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

It is not a rush. I been struggling with this. Ever since my mom passed and I have been left with the house I have been constantly working on it thinking that if I can make my house look put together then that means so am I and so is my life. Thats not how it works.

Currently I am working on letting go of that control, accepting what is and sitting with my emotions, feeling each and everyone of them. Allowing healing and enjoying June.

It truly is the simplest thing living in the now, it’s the only way we can encounter our God. He is always in the now. Never in a rush or behind schedule.

The most extraordinary things happen in the unplanned time of now.